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Anger And Fear

How to overcome anger and fear in your life

Anger and fear are two important emotions that many people get unduly stressed about. Anger is a normal healthy emotion and the problem is only when you are unable to keep it under control. Fear is another thing that people get stressed about in life. Unnecessary fear and anger leads to a disturbed and uneasy life.


Today, let us look at some of the ways to overcome anger.

Try and find out the anger trigger points.

Everyone, at one point or another will have to deal with anger. It is important to understand the trigger points and analyse the anger signs. Sometimes when people are angry their heart beats faster, they sweat, clench their fists or tighten their body and shoulders etc. Find out what are your anger signs. Once you find out the trigger points, then you will be able to handle and manage your anger.

Start the process of cooling down.

Once you understand the anger signs and the trigger points, then it is time to start focussing on addressing the same. There are many ways in which you can overcome or cope with anger. Some of them are listed below –

Count till 20.

First and foremost start slowly counting till 20. You can count more, if you are still angry. Counting till 20 gives you time to cool down and think clearly, rather than just lashing out on impulse.

Move away from the situation and do not react.

Once you hold back your anger and move away from the situation without reacting, you will calm down and feel better.

Take a deep breath.

Taking a deep breath always helps in any situation. It helps to relax as you breathe in oxygen. Whenever you are angry, you automatically breathe in more and this helps to relax, both physically and mentally.

Play some soothing music.

Today we have ipads, smart phones etc., which can be used to play soothing music. Good, soothing music helps to calm down a person. You can also be creative by dancing or doing something that will help divert attention from any angry thought.

Exercise regularly and keep the stress levels down.

Regular exercise like jogging, brisk walking, swimming, a quick badminton or tennis game, can help reduce the stress. Daily exercise is one of the best ways of getting rid of anger, frustrations etc.

Exercise also helps to get good sleep, which is important to keep the body healthy.

Sharing or talking about issues with someone who can understand you.

One of the long term ways of overcoming anger or dealing with anger is to share and discuss your feelings with a friend or a family member. Firstly, it removes the initial outburst and bitterness. Further you are able to think calmly and get a different perspective of the whole situation.

Control your mouth.

The Bible says that while the tongue is one of the smallest parts of the body, it is the most difficult to control.  We speak blessings and curses from the same mouth. When we are angry, our mouth gets out of control. We use words like

  • You always do this to me
  • You never listen to us
  • It’s not fair etc.

Many times words which are said in anger, hurt and break relationships. It is very difficult to mend or restore back these relationships. A wise decision would be to avoid getting into arguments and losing your temper. This will save a lot of problems in the future.

Fear is one more emotion which has caused a lot of health problems. Many people unnecessarily fear future events, which may not even happen. Worry and anxiety leads to fear. It is normal to have fear, but it becomes a problem only when it is overwhelming.

Sometimes fear becomes so big that it can paralyse your life. Faith in God is exactly the opposite of fear. Faith gives you inner peace while fear gives you stress and anxiety.

Some of the easy ways to overcome or conquer fear are listed below:

Understand your fear symptoms.

Many people associate fear with certain situations in their life. For e.g., fear of animals like snakes, fear of public speaking, fear of heights or adventure sports, planes etc. These situations then gives rise to symptoms like sweating, feeling dizzy, racing heartbeat, loose motions, panic and anxiety etc.

Try addressing these fears.

It is important to address and face these fears. For e.g., if you are fearful of heights, then try to overcome the same by watching close family members do paragliding or some other adventure sport. Try to climb a small hill or a mountain with a group. Enjoy the pleasure of sitting on a mountain top. As you focus on facing your fears and handling them, soon you will find that you are no longer fearful of those things. Do not push yourself, but take one step at a time. Do not be judgemental but give yourself enough time to overcome fear.

Question the fear thought.

It is important to question the fear thought. The more you analyse it, the better you will understand that it is time to overcome your fear. For e.g., some people are fearful of taking plane journeys. Encourage yourself by making plans to visit a good travel destination and then plan your plane journey. Many people have overcome their fears by facing them head on.

boating, extreme sport, inflatable boat

Encourage yourself to overcome fear by understanding the rewards.

Once you understand fear, then you need to take steps to face it. Encourage yourself by watching the outcome of your actions. For e.g.,

  1. If you are fearful of heights, try trekking and climbing a mountain with other groups and enjoy the scenic view from the top.
  2. If you are fearful of plane journeys, take a nice vacation to somewhere you would love to go.
  3. If you are fearful of animals, trying being neutral when you see them.

Think rationally of the outcome.

Many people overthink a situation and get more fearful. Most of the time, they think that they will die as a result of these situations. But in reality, it is not the case. Identify these fearful thoughts and rationally question them. Understand the difference between the actual risk and the perceived risk.

Live life positively.

Encourage positive, peaceful and grateful thoughts in your life.  Look around and enjoy nature and God’s creation. Be kind and generous to all those around you. Gratitude and kindness go a long way in keeping your body healthy.

It has been observed that people who suffered fear and depression were completely fine when they started volunteering for good charitable causes, like spending time with old people, cooking for orphans etc. They were so busy with these activities that they did not have time to overthink and be fearful.

These are some of the important ways of overcoming fear and anger in your life. It is important for you to take one day at a time and address your weaknesses. If you are focussed in addressing your fear and anger, then you will see the results eventually.

Please read our earlier article How to build confidence and live without fear

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