Sometime parents are faced with a very tricky situation, wherein their young child just refuses to listen and behave properly. As parents, we all have faced these tricky situations, that no matter what we do or explain to the child, they just won’t listen. Sometimes these types of exaggerated reactions are displayed by children of very young age for everyday situations. In such situations, it is important to handle it as calmly as possible. If parents overreact and get exasperated and lose their cool, then the child will believe that their screaming is validated.
Some of the things that you as a parent can do to handle and reduce this kind of irrational behavior are listed below:
1. Most of the time the child is in the age group of 3 to 5 years and is growing and trying to explore all their five senses. Parents become too overcautious and restrict the child’s desire to explore and in this process the child revolts. It is important to help the child to explore, but at the same time keep them away from dangerous things. A good option will always be to explain the harmful things and their consequences to your child.
2. Today’s fast advanced world has replaced outside free play time with sedentary computer games and tablets and this has had a far reaching adverse effect on a child’s health. In order to compensate for lack of free play time, parents go over board and sign up their children for Karate classes, Judo Classes and other fitness classes in addition to their packed academic schedule. In the whole process the child is stressed and is bound to have irritable behaviour.
3. Most of today’s families have a one child norm. Since both the parents are working, the spending income is very high. The child is pampered with excessive love and all their demands are fulfilled. Parents compensate the lack of time they have for their children due to work commitment by splurging on gifts, movies, regular weekend dining out and play zone games. These children become stubborn and refuse to share things with anybody. A slight “No” from parents will easily get an irrational behaviour from the child. Remember your time is the best gift that you can give your child.
4. Most of the time, an irrational behaviour triggers a standoff between the parents and the child. The best trick that works out well is to “ignore”. For e.g.if children refuse to eat vegetables or healthy nutritious food, then it’s time to ignore their screaming and just let them be. After sometime when they are hungry enough, they will come and eat the healthy food that you want them to eat. This also sends them signals that they have to obey and cannot have their way always. Also when the child is receptive and starts listening to you,it’s time to love and nurture them.
Some more additional points to understand the irrational behaviour are listed below :
- The other technique that works is to get them into the habit of “Time Off’. When they are screaming, it is best not to yell or talk to them at that time. Just let them stand at one place till they are calm and ready to listen. Enforce this rule and your child will slowly understand that shouting or screaming will never work. It is good to sit, talk and address their issues.
- Sometimes there are conflicting reactions between parents and grandparents. When parents try to discipline their children, the grandparents take an opposite stand, stating it as childishness. It is important for both parents to take a stand to correct and discipline their child at that right time. A difference in opinion will send wrong signals to the child and they will later take advantage of the situation.
- Remember it is the child’s behaviour that you need to be upset about and not the child. It is important for the child to understand that their action upsets you and not them. So the child knows that you love them and that they are not the problem but their behavior is the problem. The child then takes steps to make suitable corrections to their behaviour. Always encourage and give positive feedbacks to the child for this effort.
- It always helps in telling the child stories about obedience and good morals. Your childhood stories about obedience and good morals can encourage them to imitate it. Always make it realistic by sharing funny and humorous stories of your childhood wherein things went wrong. This will also give them comfort that it is fine to make mistakes and learn from them.
Finally parents, the most important thing that you can do is to spend time and show your unconditional love to your child which in turn will help them overcome their shortcomings. Unconditional love is the most powerful aspect in changing the behaviour of young children.
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